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About Varied / Student Member JenFemale/United States Groups :iconcal-leandros-fanclub: Cal-Leandros-Fanclub
The Nightlife Series
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I'm not.. anything. I'm so upset, I'm laughing. And I'm not a pretty crier. In fact, I'm downright ugly. How do people cry so cleanly? Seriously. I feel like.. Like there's a black hole in my chest. I'm losing it and I'm so tired. Why.. How.. I don't even know. Everything doesn't feel right. I feel like I'm disappointing everyone in my life who matters to me. I've never done anything right, I don't have an interesting personality, and I'm a shitty person to talk to because I'm not smart and I don't know anything about anything. Who am I to judge my sister? Hell, to judge anyone who's at least fucking trying in their life? Who has done more than me in anything they've tried? Why do I even have friends? I feel like I'm just one of those 'friends' everyone likes to keep around cuz I'm so stupid I keep them entertained. Like a pet of some sorts. I don't matter to them like they matter to me. Why do I try anymore? I'm just filling space. I don't matter to anyone here. My life means nothing.

And on and on and on I can speak like this. It gets tedious, listening to these bullshit words. Why do I even write them? Because I'm a coward. Because I want to live, I just don't know how to. I'm a coward and I don't want to go just yet. Because if I did, there would be no more of 'me'. I'd be less of whatever nothing is. And that's what I'm the most scared of. My biggest fear is being unable to breath, like drowning or being suffocated. But to be nothing? I don't know. I don't know how to do that.

I'm scared right now. Because I'm losing it and I'm laughing whilst crying. And the black hole in my chest is just sucking everything up. I've got no energy...

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Makona-Duke
Jen
Artist | Student | Varied
United States
I'm a sideways kinda person! :]

Find me on Skype!! :D!! jen.duke4

I liiike, loooove, adooooore yaoi; writing it, reading it, but maybe not watching it - I feel embarrassed because, well...... The sex noises. omg the sex noises are so awkward and embarrassing. xD!!

I like to read and cook, and - - S.H.O.P.P.I.N.G. Good lord I love to shop. I've just recently been kicked out of my tomboy phase (though I still refuse to wear makeup) and I've been spending so much money on shoes and clothes and - soon - I'll be buying me some lolita dresses. *^*!! MWA HAHAHAHAHAH

I'm pretty open-minded and, hopefully, I'm easy to get along with. I'm lazy, I love to procrastinate, and a lot of time there's gotta be an incentive for me to do shit. (And I curse a lot, oops hehe X3)
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:iconsuixere:
Suixere Featured By Owner Jul 8, 2014
Thank you so much for the fave!! ;;7; :iconlovelyhugplz:
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:iconmakona-duke:
Makona-Duke Featured By Owner Jul 9, 2014  Student General Artist
You're welcome ;D
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:iconritabp:
RitaBP Featured By Owner Jul 3, 2014  New member
Thank you very much for the fav!)
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:iconanixkas3795:
Anixkas3795 Featured By Owner Jun 13, 2014
thanks for the fav~~
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:iconbialatynktura:
BialaTynktura Featured By Owner May 27, 2014
Thank you so much for the watch and favs! :heart:
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:iconanixkas3795:
Anixkas3795 Featured By Owner May 27, 2014
thanks for the fav~~
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:icongolden-stephano:
Golden-stephano Featured By Owner May 27, 2014  Student Digital Artist
Thanks for the fav! :D <3 
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:iconacrylicheart:
AcrylicHeart Featured By Owner May 26, 2014  Student Writer
:iconnarusasuplz: Thanks for the favorite~!
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:iconserielle:
Serielle Featured By Owner May 19, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Thank you so much for another fav!! :heart:
I really appreciate it!!! :hug:
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:iconmakona-duke:
Makona-Duke Featured By Owner May 21, 2014  Student General Artist
You're welcome! :D
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